I’m just frustrated at life. I don’t have the particular need to share my good news with anyone but here I am craving to share it. Or perhaps the person I want to share it with is hard to contact. I’m afraid of sharing and they don’t understand how much of a big deal it is for me. They downplay it so much that I’m afraid I’ll never want to open up again.
This is the kind of night where I just feel unappreciated about everything. I send you little things out of love. Now all I feel is the love seeping out of my heart only to be filled with questionable ideations. I feel petty thinking that I never want to send you anything anymore because you’ve never sent me anything just because. Lazy- selfish- cheap- loveless- user.
How shallow, how ugly this feeling swallows me whole. Consuming the real parts of me and replacing them with empty shells. A shell, my former me.